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The combination of scent and touch is extremely effective in
opening up intimacy between two people. That's basically how we communicate love
in an effective way, a way that doesn't involve having to discuss the subject a
great deal. It also works wonderfully on a basic physical level. There are a lot
of nerve endings that follow along the path of the spine. As you massage, your
touch brings the blood to the surface, you speed the absorption of the oils into
the skin, and you also bring up the level of oxytocin, the hormone needed in
high levels for the process of sexual arousal.
Massage is an especially good thing for men to focus on. Women
often need the kind of attention it gives them o feel comfortable with
proceeding on to more intimate activities. The nurturing, caring-for aspect of
romance is extremely important between two people. You will have more
interesting and intense erotic experiences if you're involved on all levels with
each other. And touch and scent are the best ways of really opening some of
those deeper levels.
A backrub is something that everyone can relate to positively
and that's a good place to start. Using oils will make it quite a different, and
far more exciting, experience.
Begin the massage with a small amount of your chosen
aromatherapy oil, just a teaspoon or so. Rub the oil in the palms of your hands
to warm it up before it touches your partner's skin. Cold oil poured on a back
will quickly produce about twice as much tension as was there before you
started!
There are certain basic message techniques designed to relieve
tension, that are very effective. Tension tends to accumulate in the neck,
shoulders and upper back in women, and in the lower back and buttocks in men.
The really important thing is not how you do the massage. The idea is not to
become an expert masseuse or masseur. This is a seduction ritual! Be creative
and playful.
The Welcoming Press: With
your lover lying face down, straddle him or her or kneel at their side. Gently
press down on your partner's shoulders, and on either side of the spine. Do not
press directly on the spin at any time during the massage. This stroke gives
your partner a few moments to get used to the feeling of your hands on their
skin.
The Back Warmer: Now begin
to warm your lover's back. With a flat hand, fingers together, palm in contact
with the skin, move the hands in parallel lines up either side of the spine,
then out and across the shoulders, and down the sides of the torso.
Kneading: Working as deeply
as is comfortable for your partner, use your fingers to knead the muscles of the
back, starting with the neck and shoulders and working your way down. Go slowly
and use additional oil as necessary.
Raking: Spread your fingers
and, keeping them somewhat stiff, rake them down the back from shoulders to
buttocks. This releases deep, underlying tissue tensions.
Lower Back: The lower back
and sacrum (the downward-pointing triangle located between the buttocks at the
end of the spine) can become congested and tender, especially in premenstrual
women. Lightly massage this area with small, circular strokes on buttocks, hips
and upper thighs. With a man, use lower back spirals. Starting at the top of the
crack between the buttocks use your thumbs to make small spirals upwards along
either side of the tailbone to the top of the sacrum, then press your thumbs
along the top of the hips and move them out, across and down the side of the
body to the floor. Repeat several times.
Buttocks: Try "Thumbs over
the Mountain." Starting at the bottom, press your thumbs firmly into the flesh
of the buttocks and follow the curve up, around, and down the side of the hips.
This can be a tender and sensitive area, so use only as much pressure as your
lover can comfortably tolerate. Return to the first position and move your
thumbs apart slightly to describe a second curved line that is parallel to and
outside the first, continuing until you have no curve left to follow. Repeat
several times.
Thighs: Once you get to your
lover's thighs, you may find yourself getting distracted and decide to shift
your focus to other kinds of touching. Or you may want to try out some massage
strokes of your own design. Or you can ask your partner to turn over and
continue the massage with a few more strokes to the front of the body.
Shoulder and Chest Presses:
Kneeling behind your partner, as he or she is lying face up, press down on the
shoulders and hold. Ask your partner to take a deep, releasing breath, and let
the essential oils work their magic as you increase the pressure of your hands
slightly. At the end of the exhalation, release. Slide your hands up and over
your lover's collar bone and press very gently. Have them take a deep breath as
you hold, then release. Now move your hands to the center of the chest, (between
a woman's breasts) and, laying one hand on top of the other, press very gently.
Have your partner take a deep breath and release.
Sexual Energy Release Points, Neck and
Ears: Encourage your lover to breathe in a deep and relaxing manner
as you gently massage their neck, making small circles over the release points
on the upper neck and about halfway up the ears. If the massage is a prelude to
lovemaking, now is a really good time to let the kissing begin. Remember, too,
that a woman's breasts are highly charged with erotic energy and can create a
dramatic arousal response when massaged or caressed.
Improvise! Well, you're on your own from here. Relax,
improvise and be creative, you'll do just fine!
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